


I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

by Sandyclaws68



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A really annoying Christmas carol, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Christmas, F/M, Future Fic, Gen, Keith gets a few lessons in Christmas, Married Kidge, Merry Kidgemas!, Pregnant Pidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 08:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13143042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandyclaws68/pseuds/Sandyclaws68
Summary: Too bad Keith's lessons in having a merry Christmas did not include keeping his heavily pregnant wife from wanting to kill him.





	I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

In retrospect it was probably the song that sent Pidge over the edge.

Not that everything had been fine for the first seven or so months. Allura had pulled Pidge out of the Green Lion as soon as her pregnancy was confirmed, leaving the Paladin with extra time on her hands and little to do except complain about “half-assed Altean birth control”. When Keith flew home to Earth to collect Matt to take over as the Green Paladin his wife stopped talking to him for three days. Hunk had managed to snap her out of that, but the progression of her pregnancy remained somewhat rocky.

The confirmation that she was carrying twins had been a shock for both of them. Pidge's panic was palpable, as was her insistence that there was no history of twins anywhere in her family tree. When Keith suggested consulting a Galra medic she had jumped at the chance, certain it would “correct” the situation. Kolivan brought one of the Blade of Marmora's chief medical officers to the Castle, and the man had conducted a thorough, if unorthodox (from a human point of view) examination.

It was definitely twins. The medic explained that the evolution of the Galra included an asexual reproduction phase, so it was entirely possible that Keith's Galra ancestry had resulted in a spontaneous fission of the embryo, creating twins. Pidge was somewhat comforted with having a scientific explanation, but she still insisted that the Castle be moved closer to Earth so she could have her mother with her. Allura agreed, and things seemed to smooth out a little after that.

Until, that is, they became aware that Christmas was just around the corner.

Keith's childhood had been, to say the least, non-traditional, so he never really had the full-blown, high octane, family Christmas experience. Colleen Holt, learning of this deprivation (as she called it), was determined to show her son-in-law exactly how special the holiday could be. They made cookies together, went shopping, wrapped presents and decorated both the Holt family home and the couple's quarters in the castle. Keith only called a halt when she suggested Christmas light's inside Red's cockpit.

But things really kicked into overdrive when Christmas music entered the picture. It started out relatively simply; _The Christmas Song_ , _Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas_ , other classics. The older, more religious-themed carols. But then – and no one was really sure how or when it happened – Keith heard _I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas_.

And Pidge threw her hands up in surrender, because she knew it was all over at that point.

That didn't mean that she liked it, of course.

 

****~**~**~**~**~****

 

“Keith.”

The whistling cut off long enough for him to hum in acknowledgment and turn to face his wife with a lifted eyebrow.

“Can you please stop with the whistling? Or at least latch on to a different song?” Pidge shook her head and smiled slightly. “That one is getting a little worn around the edges.”

“Oh, I wasn't even aware I was doing it,” was the response as a touch of pink dusted Keith's cheekbones.

Pidge had known him long enough to recognize that as a surefire sign that – while not precisely lying – her husband was definitely not telling the entire truth. Then he smiled, and she felt her heart melt like it always did.

“I'll stop,” he promised as he made his way across the room and sank onto the sofa beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and softly kissing her temple. “How are you feeling?” he asked, his hand sliding off her shoulder and down to her abdomen, giving their unborn children a quick rub. “Do you need anything?”

“Are there any of those oranges that Lance's family sent us left?” When Keith nodded Pidge grinned. “I'll take two of those,” she went on, patting her distended belly, “one for each of them.”

When Keith returned to their lounge he was singing softly under his breath, but not so softly that Pidge didn't recognize the song, especially the line about “Hippopotamuses like me too!”. She barely resisted the urge to huff her bangs away from her face in frustration.

 

****~**~**~**~**~****

 

“Oh my God would you just stop singing that song!”

Keith started at the vehemence from Hunk, contrary to the Yellow Paladin's normally placid nature. “What? What was I doing?”

Hunk tossed the wrench he was holding onto the tool bench and pushed a hand through his hair. “That damned hippopotamus song,” he stated. “If I hear it one more time I'm going to commit some sort of heinous act, probably against you.”

“I. . . I wasn't even aware I was singing it!” Keith exclaimed, looking simultaneously ashamed and shocked. “Guess it just keeps getting stuck in my head,” he concluded with a shrug.

“Yeah, that's what Pidge keeps complaining about.”

“I guess. . . Wait! She's been complaining about me?” He looked genuinely surprised.

“Duh,” Hunk replied with a roll of his eyes. “She thinks you're so stuck on that song because she's as big as a hippo, and -”

“What?!” Keith shouted. “How could she think, even for one second, that she's anything but the most beautiful woman in the universe?” His expression turned pensive. “Besides, just a baby hippo is nearly five times her size, even when pregnant with twins, so I'd say it's physiologically impossible for her to -”

Hunk's laughter cut off whatever Keith was going to say as he shook his head and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “I love you, man, but if she murders you I'll be helping her hide the body.”

 

****~**~**~**~**~****

 

“And then he said he'd be helping her hide my body when I inevitably get murdered for being an insensitive sot,” Keith groused to Lance as they worked out on the training deck.

“Okay, first of all I doubt Hunk believes your murder is inevitable,” Lance replied, swallowing down the need to laugh. “But I gotta say I agree with the insensitive part.” He hit a button on his gauntlet and deactivated the droid they had been fighting before pushing a hand through his sweaty hair, getting it out of his face. “Why the heck are you so fixated on that damned song, anyway?”

Keith flushed a bright red and dropped his gaze. Lance waited patiently, knowing that sooner or later the discomfort would cause Keith to blurt out some sort of confession. He wasn't disappointed.

“I like hippos, okay? I don't know why. And. . .”

He didn't finish his thought right away, leaving Lance waiting. “And?” the Blue Paladin finally prompted.

Keith shrugged. “It's just. . . Well, I feel like I finally have a place where I belong. A family – an extended family – and a chance for a merry Christmas. And that song just covers all the happiness that I have a hard time speaking of.” He chuckled. “Unfortunately the song keeps escaping out of my mouth, instead of any words that might do the job better.”

Lance could feel one corner of his mouth twitching with the need to grin, but he pinched his lips tightly together to keep a straight face. “You know, you could tell Pidge exactly what you just told me instead of driving her insane with that God forsaken song and making her feel like _she's_ the hippopotamus.”

“You're going to join Hunk in hiding my murdered corpse, aren't you?” Keith huffed.

“Was there ever any doubt?”

 

****~**~**~**~**~****

 

Colleen laughed for almost five minutes without a break (or even taking a breath, as best as Keith could determine) when her son-in-law approached her about the hippopotamus-sized problem that had invaded his marriage.

“Keith,” she spoke when she was finally calm enough. “There isn't a woman alive on this planet that hasn't felt like a hippo in the eighth month of pregnancy. And Katie is carrying twins, plus the Galra factor. . . well, it's that much more overwhelming for her. So do us all a favor and stop singing – and whistling – that idiotic song and just tell her what's going on in your head.”

Colleen's advice was echoing in his head as he made his way to the quarters he and Pidge shared later that afternoon, internally debating what would be the best way to apologize and convince his wife that he hadn't meant anything with the song. It was tough to get into the right mindset, though, especially after he realized he was walking to the beat of the song, which inevitably caused it to take over his brain yet again.

Pidge was snoozing when he entered their bedroom, one hand protectively cradling her belly. Keith's smile was soft as he laid on the bed behind her, spooning up against her back. When she stirred at the contact he made soothing noises and pressed a lingering kiss to her neck.

“Keith, what -?”

“Just relax,” he whispered, “and don't look at me. I have a few things I need to say to you.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, his breath stirring the hair over Pidge's ears. “I'm sorry, I'm an idiot, and I hope you can forgive me. I just. . .” He buried his face in the soft hair at the nape of her neck. “I never had anything like this when I was a kid, and I really don't know how to express how happy I am with everything; you, the twins, this Christmas.” He laughed weakly. “And I don't think you look like a hippopotamus; I think you're the most beautiful being I've ever laid my eyes on.”

He felt the expansion of her chest as Pidge sucked in a breath before sighing. Her hand slid across her belly and entwined with his. “You're insane,” she softly replied, shifting on the bed to more comfortably fit against him. “And of course I forgive you. When have I ever not?” She must have sensed the tension in his body at that moment because she half-rolled onto her back so their eyes could meet. “Sword and shield, remember? We'll always be in this together. All of this.”

Keith felt his body immediately relax. “Sword and shield,” he repeated, wrapping his arms as far around his wife as they would go before gently kissing her. When he pulled away there was a mischievous spark in his eyes. “I just thought of the perfect name for either of the twins!”

“What?”

“Hama.”

Pidge's eyes narrowed. “If that means hippopotamus in Korean I _will_ murder you.”

“No worries,” Keith replied with a laugh. “You'll have plenty of help hiding the body.”

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so apparently it was mentioned in an interview somewhere that Keith is fond of hippos. That fact, plus hearing that damned song too many times on the XM Christmas station at work, caused something in my brain to snap and this was the result.
> 
> Merry Kidgemas, everyone! <3


End file.
